I have chosen a relational approach to evangelism, because this enables me to get to know the nonbeliever more personally. After I have built relationships, I am able to gauge appropriately how the gospel would be best presented for this particular person. The rise of postmodernism has caused many people to become discontented with a facts oriented approach to religion. They are more concerned with interactions and interpersonal relationships. In some ways I believe that society is opening up even more to the gospel as long as it is presented in the context of friendship and love. Often a brazen approach will cause the non-Christian to erect walls of indifference to the message. Admittedly, this is not always the case, yet society appears to be moving away from fact based lessons and more to relational and narrative lifestyles. My personal evangelistic style also takes shape when I have become familiar with personal stories, and we are able to share our life histories.

My plan of evangelism begins with what Mark Mittelberg has termed, “Matthew parties.” These are opportunities for me to hang out with unbelievers in a non-threatening environment and get to know them. We tell stories about our lives and get involved with each other. This kind of introduction paves the way for service, invitations to church, and even to engage their minds about spiritual matters. When it comes time to present the gospel, I feel most comfortably to do so narratively. Mittelberg's reference to F.O.R.M. evangelism will serve as a nice anchor point to describe what I mean by a narrative presentation of the gospel or narrative evangelism. F.O.R.M. is an acrostic for Family, Occupation, Religious background, and My testimony. The purpose of this form is to ask the friend to share about their family background, vocational life, and journey of faith. Finally, the evangelist should be able to share their own testimony and the gospel message. The main idea is that the two have already broken typical communication barriers by sharing about their lives. Now the Christian is able to present the gospel to the unbeliever.

The method of evangelism laid out by F.O.R.M. is helpful if the evangelist has a lot of time in a specific timeframe and wants to be able to relate to them for the duration in order to present the gospel. This form of evangelism still falls under the confrontational style. In other words the reason that we ask those personal questions is for only one goal - my testimony. My personal strategy already assumes that the first three stages have been dealt with. I assume that we have already gotten involved in their lives, that their family, occupational and religious history has already been made apparent. In a sense we have become genuinely involved in their lives by means of those Matthew parties and other friendly activities or services. We have entered into their story.

Our involvement with the unbeliever allows us to share our lives as well. We become interconnected with each other and all those who have intersected our lives. Before long we have become wrapped up in a web of connections with nonbelievers that we would never have met if we did not listen to who was affecting our friend's life, and getting to know them through the one we have been witnessing. As we listen to their life stories from month-to-month, week-to-week, or even day-to-day we listen to the way that God has been active. While we tell our own stories we tell how God had his hand upon our lives. When we share our stories with the unbeliever and mention God's providence, the typical evangelistic barriers have already been destroyed because we have become enmeshed in the life of the unbeliever. When this happens we are able to say, “I have told you how God was active in my life, but that's not all. I have seen Him working in your life as well, and in case you haven't seen it would you allow me to share that with you?” Almost everyone wants to hear how God may be at work in his/her life. Most people seem to think that God is absent or at best indifferent to their lives.

I can take their story and lay that against the story of Christ and share with them how God has always been involved in their life. Here is an example of how I might tell the gospel to one whose life has been neglectful of God. “You are not the only person to try and make it all on your own. People before you have tried to get through life alone, even tried to get to God by their own power. God noticed that we were falling awfully short of ever getting close to Him. You see we weren't created to be loners, but to be in relationships with each other and with God. Instead of leaving us in our hopeless situation, He came down to us and showed us how to be unified with one another in love . . . (birth narrative as necessary) . . . I noticed that God came to you during your periods of loneliness. Every time you mentioned a major down part in your life someone was there, or when they weren't that you somehow made it through. I think I know how you were able to carry on. God loves to touch us and give us strength. He is our healer and our leader . . . (miracles of Jesus as necessary) . . . You've even told me how you have been utterly abandoned by those you loved, and even by society (loss of job, divorce, etc.) . . . Did you know that Jesus felt that way too? On the cross he cried, “My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me? The Lord feels your pain and has been with you all along, just as He was with those twelve disciples 2000 years ago. The good news is that Jesus experienced the worst of it so you wouldn't have to. He was forsaken by God and died . . . (Crucifixion story as necessary) . . . Even though there was that time in your life when you felt there was no way you could come back to God, He has been waiting for you with open arms. Jesus knows what it is like to be abandoned by loved ones, society and even by God. He did this so that you wouldn't have to be. God does not want anyone to be abandoned (damned, forsaken, cursed, etc.). He promised us that He would never leave nor forsake us. I have become a part of your life as much as you have let me and hope that we continue to have our relationship. The Lord has also been in your life but for far longer than I have. But I don't know if you've let him have the kind of relationship that even we share. He wants you to acknowledge His presence in your life, and He wants to continue to guide/lead you throughout your life.”

This approach to spreading the Good News does not include excessive Scripture memorization, nor does it ask the person to ascribe to a certain doctrine. It simply says (indirectly), “You have been living according to your own story, or maybe society's story. That hasn't worked for you and will never work for you. There is hope! There is another story, one that begins in Genesis and ends in eternity. What story are you a part of?” I purposefully have not included a list of Scripture verses to give to the prospective convert or even to the new convert. Many times these people have their own doubts about the Bible, but people believe stories. When they see how God has been active in my life and in the lives of those close to me, they become more attentive. If I can help them to be a part of this gospel narrative, then I can direct them to a book of the Bible as a continuation of what it means to be a part of God's salvation story. The content of this mode of evangelism is not so easily defined simply because it takes shape only in the relations that occur. The content of this evangelism lies in the lives of those all around us, and in the one who has gone before us, Jesus of Nazareth. The key to narrative evangelism is to listen to people, take part in their lives, and to reveal God's direct involvement in the story of their life.

1.Mittelberg, Mark. 2000. Building a Contagious Church. Zondervan, 252-253. He gives credit to the F.O.R.M. approach as belonging to the South Hills community Church in Highlands Ranch, CO. What I call “narrative evangelism” will be similar to F.O.R.M. yet not completely reliant upon it.
2.This is an incarnational evangelism strategy. Scripture references abound in examples of Jesus Christ becoming involved in our stories: Matthew 1 and Philippians 2:6-8 are a couple examples.
3.Matt. 27:46
4.Jos. 1:5